Starry Night

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Wow! Now there's an original, pithy little maxim. But as trite as it may be, it pretty much describes what I'm feeling right now. I haven't met my own standard of performance level with my current gig after 4 shows, and I'm trying to not let it get me down, becuase it won't serve me well for what's to come. So I'm going through the usual, self-help affirmations about letting the past go (in this case the very recent past) and moving on. Every day is a brand new beginning. (And the clichés continue!)
But I really do have to think these things in order to undo my current frame of mind. The only way to eradicate my current disappointment is to establish a new, firm foundation by getting one good show under my belt, and building from there.
I'm actually quite surprised I'm confessing all this in a public forum. It goes against the mandate of my little web, and I'm not wont to spreading my personal little insecurities on-line. Like who cares anyway? But it's my little web and I'll wobble if I want to. I also like to believe that my simple solutions to ordinary problems might serve others. That's basically why I do this. I like to think my little web has some broader appeal than simply being an on-line journal. I've got a pen and paper journal for that kind of down and dirty complaining. But I digress...
A bumpy beginning does not mean the rest of the journey will be the same. I know I've mentioned a number of times that I believe the first day or time at anything sets a tone, and I still believe that, but I also believe that that none of that is set in stone. Then what purpose does a bumpy start serve? For little old, new-agey me it means I have to work a little harder and climb a little higher to overcome an unwelcome challenge. What I'm doing is challenging enough without the less-than-stellar start. But that's where things are and that's what I have to deal with.
So there you have it. I've laid my soul bare for all the world to see, and I'm declaring a brand new day and a brand new life starting now. That's a bit of a challenge for me, because in case you don't know or haven't noticed, I'm a tad superstitious. Being a magical thinker is one thing, but allowing superstitious hokum to derail me is entirely another. The Universe is offering me a chance to prove to myself that I can change that at anytime. And the time is now.
I'm turning lemons into lemonade and proving to myself that it's not over 'til it's over and the fat lady sings. I'm relying on the wisdom of hackneyed clichés to pull me through my own morass of self-imposed superstitious bilge. Just watch me. (Okay, so you can't literally do that. But please allow me just a little more worn-out rhetoric. I'm doing my best, so work with me here.)
Anyway, I needed to do this. Thanks for "listening." Maybe this little pep-talk to myself helped someone else out there who has the same flaky issues. I hope so.
- G. P.