Drivel

Happy September! The arrival of September means that summer is drawing to a close, and I've had a good one - a very good one, indeed. But I'm not letting the fact that one of the best summers of my life is coming to an end get me down. Nosiree. You see, I've just laid the foundation for the rest of my life - the best of my life. And for a not-so-young-anymore person like me, that's really saying something. I've always been a later-bloomer, in every phase of my life, and that applies to the narrative arc of my entire life as well. I'm a Scorpio, and Scorpios are traditionally late-bloomers.
So that's why I'm spending time on my little web writing goddess-knows-what just to make sure I set the tone for the entire month (it's the first day of September) and for the rest of my life, for that matter.
I'm going back to my "straight" job today, but that doesn't mean I'll be spending the rest of my life there. No way. It simply means I'll be earning money for the rest of my life. See how that works? I'm writing right here and now - that's me being creative, expressing myself. I went to yoga this morning, so I'm keeping myself fit. I've performed a few necessary tasks that make for right and responsible living, and I've made connections with people via email. All this is good. Makes for a good life to come.
I'm focussing on living well for just one day, and so far, so good. Just hope I can keep it up whilst I'm at work. That's the real challenge for the day. But if I can go to work, stay upbeat and polite and do a good job (I sell books - it's not so bad), then I'll have had had an exemplary day.
Only one thing's missing - I need time for fun, for pleasure. I've had some down time and relaxation, but I want to have fun to make my day complete. But shouldn't what I'm doing right now be the fun part? I'm a writer and an actress. Artists are supposed to love what they do. They're supposed to be passionate about their work. I don't know if being passionate about something is the same as having fun, but if I just keep moving my fingers over the keyboard, sooner or later I might realize that I'm enjoying myself. But I'm beginning to think maybe not. My neck and shoulders are sore and tense. Sitting at a computer for longer than 30 minutes does that to me. That's why I'm so glad I don't work in an office, sitting all day at a desk. That's not me. Not at all.
I'm still waiting for a theme to emerge from this little blurb I'm spitting out. Nothing so far... I've already explained why I'm writing this. That was the beginning. But I need a theme. I need a how. If I don't have a theme I won't be able to have a proper middle section - the development of my thesis - and if I don't have a middle, then horror of horrors, how on earth can I have an ending? A conclusion? Aargh!
You see, I've got a mandate for the day, for this first day of September, so I'll just keep slugging away until the muse descends, or not, so that I can make some pithy little statement, or not, to conclude this rambling, pointless blurb.
My neck and shoulders are in spasm, but I've written a bit of nonsense and will determine if it was fun once I get off the computer and roll and rub my shoulders a bit. But I feel sorry for you, dear reader. I'm sorry that you've read to this point (if, indeed, you have made it this far) and find that I've no wisdom to impart. All I've done is indulge myself in my usual first-day-of-anything-sets-the-tone habit, and come up with this drivel. My humblest apologies. Please forgive me. I hope you can, because - to quote one of my heroes, Mahatma Gandhi - the weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.
There. Now you don't have to forgive me, because I've finally shared a bit of wisdom on this little web of mine, and from someone much wiser than I.
Namaste.
- G.P.
p.s. I think I'm finally able to say I had some fun. Whew.