Good Gracious Me

My new year's resolution is to say grace before every meal. By that I don't mean bowing my head and muttering the words aloud before I eat. If I'm in public and it would be inappropriate to draw attention to myself in the aforementioned manner, I'll simply sit still for a few moments and say grace to myself. That's what I've been doing for almost a year now, whenever I remember, which is about twice a week or so. Now that I've made it my new year's resolution, maybe I'll remember to do it every time.
I've mentioned before that I try to say grace before meals, but it was meant as a means to slow down my voracious eating habits - too much too fast and all that.
When I stop to give thanks for a meal, it does, indeed, slow me down. But now I'm upping the ante. I'm hoping that by saying grace, I'll be invoking it; allowing it to enter my life. All this because I've recently become obsessed with grace - the state of grace, living in grace, to be in good graces, or to be grace itself.
I'm not really sure what's caused this recent preoccupation of mine, but I know grace is a good thing to have and I want my share of it. However, I also know that it's a gift, usually associated with something that's divinely bestowed. People who are considered to be full of grace are worthy of it, because it's a quality that is invariably accompanied by, or synonymous to, kindness, generosity, goodwill and mercy. A genuinely kind and generous person is usually someone others like to hang around. One feels graced by their very presence.
Okay. I know. It's completely unreasonable to hope for the gift of grace without the concomitant virtues. Although I try to be courteous and thoughtful as much as possible, I also frequently slip up. I'm only human. But there are a couple of things I can do - things over which I have complete control, and don't need the disposition of a saint to master. One of them is saying grace before every meal. As long as I offer sincere gratitude for being able to share in Pachamama's bounty, it stands to reason that I will be inviting at least some grace into my life. At least that's my hope.
Another thing I do, and have done for many years, is walk as gracefully as I can. I've written frequently about my love of walking. I walk a lot, and I do it mindfully. I figure since I'm walking anyway, I might as well do it as beautifully as I can. For years now, whenever I walk, I pay attention to my stride, my posture, and my breathing. This deliberate, conscious way of walking has become second nature to me. It's an easy, accessible form of exercise and meditation. I like to think that when I walk with as much grace and ease as I can muster, then surely I endow myself with some sort of spiritual gift, because it's not just a physical experience. Whenever I engage in a conscious, contemplative stroll through the woods, my spirits are lifted, and I feel truly graced with the gifts of good health and peace of mind.
So maybe one day I'll live in a state of grace. But as it stands now, that's highly unlikely, because grace also denotes humility. Hoping to be rewarded with grace just for appreciating good eating and walking - something I should be doing anyway - is not what a genuinely humble, grateful person does. Mind you, that's still not going to stop me from saying grace, or walking with as much grace as possible, and secretly feeling oh-so-proud of myself when I do.
- G.P.