Constant Craving

Something went wrong.  It happened yesterday, and changed the course of what is today, and what I had hoped it would be.

Today is the 14th anniversary of my mother's death.  She died on a full moon - a blue moon, in fact.  There's no full moon today, but it's Easter Sunday - an equivalent of sorts.
I wanted to resurrect my mother by feeling her near.   But that's not how it is.  Far from it.
The mirror cracked.  I'm hurting from the curse of a thin grin.  I wanted to feel my mother with me today.  Instead I feel only the distance between us.  I'm paying the price for all the magic I've conjured lately.  There's always a price.  There has to be.  Magic is not a middle path.  Balance needs to be restored. 
I've been looking forward to this day for weeks, and all for nothing.  Thank goddess it's only one day.  One dismal day is a small price to pay for months on solid ground and the last few days of airy anticipation.  And all because I was greedy for magic.  I've had more than my fair share lately, so now I sting because I tipped the scales by craving more.
I forgot to be grateful for all that I have.  That's why I'm hurting.  And that's why I'm making medicine out of my misery.
Today I'm hurt.  Tomorrow I'm healed.
- G.P.