Free Flow

When there is no desire,
all things are at peace.
Those are the last words of one of the brief chapter/verses of Stephen Mitchell's version of the Tao Te Ching.  I long for peace, and these wise words remind me that maybe it's the desire for peace that's preventing me from achieving it.  Longing is not a peaceful state.  Despite this knowledge, I've always found non-attachment or not longing for goals and dreams a tough call.  (Not desiring material things is relatively easy for me.)
Lately I've made some headway on the process of detaching myself from the outcome.  And wouldn't you know, it's made my life a little easier, a little simpler.  Non-attachment is something you can't work on.  That defeats the purpose.  In order to let go of longing and desire, it's easier to work on something else, preferably on what is.   That's another way of being fully present, or paying attention to the journey and not the destination.
These are popular aphorisms that are bandied about a lot these days, therefore easily dismissed as New Age clichés.  It's only since recently rediscovering the ancient wisdom in The Tao that I've finally been able to make it work for me.  On any given day I might be lamenting growing older and having failed at this or that, with all the accompanying issues, yet twenty-four hours later I'll experience moments of clarity and equanimity, but nothing's different except for the way I feel.  The feeling comes and goes as my life flows along, but when it happens, it sure feels good.  Lately it's been happening more often and lasting longer.
The previous blurb may seem to belie my claim that I'm finding my way to a more balanced life, because I wrote about crying almost daily.  That sure doesn't sound like a happy person.  But as I mentioned, crying isn't always an expression of sadness or despair.  Sometimes it's a release, and I think that's why I've shed more tears than usual lately. 

Since I began to follow The Tao a few months ago, slowly but surely I'm learning to accept things as they are, loosen my grip on longing, and just let things flow.  Going with the flow has allowed me to let my tears flow without judgement or sorrow.  As a writer and a diviner of signs, I love that letting tears flow is a lovely metaphor for my new-found knowledge.  In fact, on the day I made up my mind not to cry (and I don't know why I thought that was a good idea), I ended up being angry and mean.  I blocked the flow.  I resisted what is. 
The shedding of tears is cleansing.  When water stops flowing and stays still for too long, it becomes stagnant and toxic.  So from now on I'm sticking to The Way.
- G.P.