Friday, March 30, 2012

Tuned In and Turned On

I was so wired I was buzzing. I had just started an opening shift at the bookstore where I work, and feeling hyper-charged with supressed emotion. Although keeping my feelings to myself was hard, I thought I was doing a good job of it until things started messing up.
We have high-end, touch screen kiosks in our store, and the two that are in the Kids' section were being temperamental and refusing to power up. It just so happens I work in Kids', and of course all the other kiosks were working just fine. Sheesh and surprise. So, technopeasant that I am, I had to call the manager to come and save me from blowing up the tools of my trade. Within minutes of arriving, my manager had both kiosks up and running. As she worked I did my best to maintain a professional demeanour and not reveal the tightly wound inner workings of my mind. But my boss isn't just smart and computer savvy, she's also an enlightened, sensitive human being. Whilst fiddling about with the kiosks, she remarked that perhaps there was something about my energy that was affecting the systems. It was as if she were reading my mind, or at least feeling the great surges of my barely contained frustration. How cool is that? Here's a boss who talks my language in the foreign land of retail and materialism.
Anyway, I confirmed that I was indeed feeling stretched tight and wired. "It's a good thing you don't work on cash," she joked. She also suggested that perhaps I should release my energy on the Buddha board. And what's a Buddha board you may well ask? Turns out that Buddha boards are blank slates on which you paint an image of whatever you want released, and within minutes the image dissolves and disappears. It can be a negative influence you want to get rid of, or a wish or prayer you'd like answered. Either way, whatever you want, or don't want, is released and dispersed into the ether. It's a lovely, simple gift, and appeals to my minimalist sensibilities.
The store had a demo model on display, and I knew exactly what I wanted to release and let go. I painted a picture of a tower being struck by lightning, as in the dreaded Tower card of the tarot. That was pretty much the way I felt at the time - zapped by lightning. Drawing those emotions on a blank slate was liberating and fun, and an effective, creative way to rid myself of negative energy. I managed to enjoy the rest of my shift, feeling calmer than I had in several days.
I got home that evening, tired but relieved that I'd dispersed all the tension I'd been holding. I checked my emails and was happy to see one from my sister. She informed me that she had logged unto my little web that very morning, and lo and behold it had been tagged as a "malicious" website. Yikes! Normally I would have gone berserk, but the not-so-coincidental timing of my sister trying to access my "malicious" blog while I was feeling as if I were plugged into a light socket fascinated me. I checked my dear little web right away, and fortunately all was well. Thank goddess for that, because I wouldn't have been able to do anything about it except agitate myself and everything around me even more.
Now that things have settled down, I'm left to wonder, yet again and forever, about the nature of existence and our connection to everyone and everything. I've offered this quote here before, and it bears repeating now: Mens agitat molem - the mind moves matter. The longer I live the more I believe.
- G. P.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Mad about March

Happy first day of March! I made it. February is over, and the month that holds the first day of spring is here at last. And I managed to mark it with this little blurb in this little web of mine. If you've been keeping up to speed with the mundane little details of my life, you're probably aware that I've been in a bit of a funk lately, which is also why I haven't done my traditional first day of the month or year blurb for the last two months. But all that's coming to an end now, and a new cycle begins, which includes this little tribute to a month that holds so much promise.
I'm 22,022 days old today. That's special to me because I'm very fond of the number 22. It's stable and balanced, something I'd like to be. So naturally I'm not going to ignore the fact that today, on the Kalends of March, I'm 22,022 days old. Talk about stability and symmetry. It's a good foundation from which to build the rest of my life.
That's all I have to say for now. I just wanted to check in on my little web on this very special day, setting the tone for the month, and the rest of my life. So far so good.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy the yellow roses. They were my mother's favourite flower.
- G.P.