But it's gone now. It's passed. I rode out the storm. It took a lot of will and effort to do it. It required forgiveness on my part. That wasn't easy, either, but I knew it was the only way to rid myself of the psychic garbage that was proliferating my life.
I spent a couple of weeks clearing and cleaning out more stuff, both physically and metaphysically, yet again. The longer I live, the less "stuff" I have. I live in a clearer, cleaner space, and feel better for it. As within, so without. Why don't more people get that? Shouldn't it be obvious that the environment you create for yourself reflects who you are? So to clean up the mess that was my life for a while, I went on a purging rampage. (Although sometimes I still acquire new clothes. I'm vain. I'm an actress. I like to change the way I look. I can't do everything all at once. First things first...)
If I'd been any more stressed I might have been paralyzed with fear of everything I had to do in order to fix what was wrong. But I had no choice. When there's a flood, you have to clean it up. Flat tires have to be changed in order to keep moving. So in a way, I suppose I was blessed with misfortune that forced me to get rid of what was bugging me. But boy oh boy am I glad it's over.
So what's left? Well, I feel a lot more free, that's for sure, and not just because I got rid of the material stuff. As my living space gradually cleared out, so did my mind. That's working from the outside in. But inner work was necessary, too. I had to forgive - big time. That was the hardest part, but it was worth the effort, because it's made me stronger and better.
Nothing clears out anger and pain the way compassion and forgiveness do. If you don't believe me, maybe you'll harken to the words of a great human being I quote frequently, Mahatma Gandhi. The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
Namaste.
- G.P.
