Enough Already

Slowly but surely, sadness is seeping into me.  And by sadness, I mean SADness, as in Seasonal Affective Disorder.  My previous blurb was about how much I'm not enjoying winter, and how it's affecting my moods.  They're fluctuating less now, because I'm more consistently miserable and cranky.  A regular practise of yoga would help that a lot, but I've also already complained  that the harsh, cold weather has prevented me from walking to classes.  (Getting to classes via public transport is unreliable and indirect, and includes a long wait in the cold.)  Alas and alack, I thought I was made of sterner stuff.
When I first began this little web of mine, lo these not-so-many years ago, my mandate was that it would be a complaint-free zone.  That unofficial rule was scuppered long ago, and this winter is testing me more than usual.  I've been noticeably more cranky, but at least I warn people in advance.  Simple greetings like "how are you," which are meant to be answered with an equally simple and non-committal "fine, thanks," or the grammatically incorrect "I'm good," are answered with the unpleasant truth, which no one wants to hear.  But I do that to let people know I don't really feel like talking, because my conversation is mostly about the weather and how miserable it's making me.
Although it sounds as if I must be complaining a great deal these days, it's not nearly enough for my mental health.  I'm keeping a lot more in than is good for me, which is why you gentle readers are stuck with this ornery entry.  But my frustrations have to go somewhere, so I'm dumping them into my little web, for which I apologise to whomever happens to be scanning these words right now.
Whenever I spend some time thinking "aloud" on this web of mine, and ultimately sharing my thoughts, it's with the hope that putting my feelings into words benefits me - and my audience - in some way.  Expressing myself in writing almost always serves me well, and I want it to do the same for anyone who pays my little web a visit.  Otherwise it would be simply self-serving and indulgent, which isn't exactly what I'm going for here.  So with that in mind, I'll enumerate some reasons for my seasonal funk, which can pretty much apply to just about anybody who suffers from SAD.
1.)  Extreme weather keeps people cooped up inside.  Sure, cocooning can be a good thing, but after a while, too much time stuck inside can result in mild cabin fever, even for urban dwellers.  Being bored and restless combined with a lack of exercise and fresh air leads to inertia and indolence, which is the flip side of anxiety and hyper-tension.  Both sides suck.
2.)  Cold makes you shiver.  The body's reaction to cold is to contract and tighten the muscles.  It reacts the same way to anxiety and fear.  So it doesn't matter whether the cause for shivering is physiological or psychological, the body's reaction to cold is the same.  Even if you're not literally anxious about anything, when you're cold for extended periods of time your body is behaving as if you are, and your mind follows.
3.)  Not enough vitamin D.  Although some bitterly cold days are very sunny, people still aren't being exposed to enough sunlight and vitamin D, even if they are avid outdoorsy types.  Sunlight deprivation is one of the major causes of SAD.  Sunlight warms the body and "lightens" the soul.  (For a scientific explanation, there are dozens of websites you can google.)  Suffice it to say, lack of sunlight dulls the psyche.

4.)  We're literally spending too much time looking down and in instead of up and out.  When people are outside battling the elements, check out they way they walk and carry themselves.  To protect themselves against the cold, even if they're dressed adequately, they're hunched and tense.  (See reason #2.)  Ever notice how much taller and more open people are in warm weather?  That's an excellent example of the body/mind connection, and it's why I've been stretching my arms over my head and exposing my armpits a lot these days - indoors, of course.  One of my yoga teachers incorporates that position a lot into her classes lately.  She says that if we show off are armpits more we'll be able to ward off depression.  Stand as if you're joyful, and you might eventually feel that way.  Same with smiling.  It's what actors do for a living. 

Now that I've spent some time explaining why I've got the winter blues and blahs, I feel a lot better, because I've been doing something I like to do - writing.  But my shoulders are tense and sore from hunching over the keyboard, the way I'd be against a cold wind.  See how that works?  So I'm going to stand at my study window overlooking the backyard, and stare out at the bright, brittle, bitterly cold day, arms raised and armpits exposed.
Sol Invictus!
- G.P.

Thoughts on my least favourite season...

Winter sucks.  I guess you can tell I don't skate, ski, snowboard, snowshoe or any of the other sports and pastimes that make some people I know actually look forward to this time of year.  Mind you, I have done some of these things in the long past, but not anymore.  Maybe if I did, I wouldn't be so grumpy in the winter.

In this part of the world we've been having a brutal, temperamental winter, and my mood has been fluctuating right along with the weather.  This morning, not for the first time in the last month, I got bundled up to walk to yoga class, which takes almost 25 minutes on a good day.  I was outside for three minutes and realised there was no way I could tolerate the entire walk there.  So I turned around and came home.  I've missed a lot of yoga classes in the last six weeks, and that makes me even grumpier.  And it's all been because of cold and snow and ice and all that other stuff that makes walking unpleasant, if not downright dangerous.  I've come close to falling a number of times on icy sidewalks.
The irony of all this is that I've been worried for a number of years now that climate change has robbed these here parts of a proper winter.  Unduly mild winters set me to fretting about rising Arctic waters and drowning polar bears.  Then we finally get a good old-fashioned winter, the kind I remember as a kid, and it denies me the pleasures of walking and yoga that I enjoy in my not-that-old-yet age.  So here I am, missing out on yet another yoga class and complaining about it on my little web.
Okay.  I'm still feeling out of sorts, but not as much.  Sometimes talking things out with my legion of loyal followers accompanied by a hot blast of caffeine soothes my shattered nerves.  So I'm going to pour myself another cup of coffee and make an appointment with the vet for my little Lulu, who has licked off all the fur on her belly, legs and flanks.  Maybe that's her way of complaining about the weather, too.  Anyway, she looks the way I feel, and it ain't pretty.

Aye me! Now I'm cranking myself up again.  So I guess I better go.  Although I haven't finished complaining, it must be deadly for you fab folk out there to have to read about it.
Oh! Wait!  I just thought of something positive to say about winter in the true north strong and freezing.  It reminds me that Nature rules, and so I respect her moods and obey her commands, even if I don't like them.  (Simple stuff like wear a hat, shovel the snow, don't walk on thin ice.)  If I didn't I'd be even more miserable.
Mother Nature has the power.  And as far as I'm concerned, that's cool.  Or maybe I should say c-c-cold.
- G.P.