Tuesday, August 7, 2012

My Gita Tante

I'm back after a long spell, and what a "spell" it's been.  It's conjured sadness, grief, some joy, and lots and lots of love.  My beloved Gita Tante, my most ardent and consistent follower, has died.  She was my biggest fan.  It hurts me to think that she'll never be sending me her thoughts about my most recent blurb, whether via email or speaking to me personally.
Gita Tante really listened to me.  She  truly heard what I had to say.  Mind you, for the last year or so, as her health declined, she wasn't visiting my little web as often.  But every once in a while, when she was strong enough to visit me online, she'd read about me right here, and I could always count on her to acknowledge my presence.  Her interest and responses to my musings was one of the reasons I have a little web at all.   Most writers, or artists or any discipline, express themselves in order to be heard.  I could always count on Gita Tante to pay attention to me.
Gita Tante was an exemplary listener.  And if you`ve been following me at all in this space, you`ll know by now that listeners are my favourite kind of people.  Her listening validated me, and her genuine interest in what I was doing and how I was feeling gave me a sense of self-worth I seldom feel so consistently from anyone else.  I suppose this sounds as if this blurb is all about me, even as I'm writing about a profound loss.  Well, that pretty much describes how Gita Tante made me feel whenever we shared time together.  She managed to make to make me feel as if, yes indeed, it was all about me, but without making me feel selfish or thoughtless.  It was strange how I could spend all my time talking about my joys and woes with Gita Tante, and still feel like a better, kinder, more considerate person for it.  How's that for casting a spell?
Time spent with her lifted my spirits.  She admired and respected me even when I hadn't done anything to deserve it.  And if I did accomplish something, no matter how big or small, she heaped an embarrassment of praises upon me.  Sure, sometimes she was over the top, but hey!  Who doesn't like being loved and appreciated once in a while?  Who doesn`t like being adored?  And I saw her do this time and again with the many people she loved, especially her children and grandchildren, nieces and nephews - the younger generations of the extended family.
Gita Tante was not only my maternal aunt, she was my Goddess Mother as well.  I can`t think of anyone who deserved that title more.  She was highly intelligent, knowledgeable, and above all, wise.  She believed that all the people she cared for - and she cared deeply for so many - were worthy of respect and admiration.  I feel truly blessed to have been one of those people.  She championed my work as a writer and actor even when I was paralyzed with doubt and despair.  She offered me respect when I had none for myself.  She believed in me, and told me so, many times.  Her love made me a stronger, better person.
I shall miss her.
- G.P.

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful tribute. I am sure she is listening to you still.

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