Vocal Training

My friend was regaling me with another anecdote from her many-storied life.  My storytelling friend's enthusiasm knew no bounds, and it was contagious.  I found myself responding in kind - loudly and louder still.  When I finally noticed how much noise the two of us were making, I shut up completely, but my friend was still on a roll.  My body shook with the vibrations that rolled over me like a tsunami.  If we'd been in public, I would have been embarrassed.  Hey, who am I kidding?  I was embarrassed, and there was no one else around except for my boisterous friend, who was enjoying herself too much to notice.

I've always had a strong voice, and it's served me well as an actress.  But that's not necessarily true for the rest of the time, which is most of the time.  If I get excited about something I automatically shift into high gear.  My forceful voice is largely due to the fact that all my life I've wanted to be noticed and heard.  (A recurring theme on this little web of mine.)  The unconscious, attention-seeking habit of talking too loudly, which is usually concurrent with talking too much, doesn't always attract the kind of attention it's meant to do.  It frequently does just the opposite.
I caught myself in just such a situation not long ago, and just shortly after the aforementioned incident with my vociferous friend.  I had invited another friend over for lunch at my place.  Margaret and I were chatting and once again I realised I was showing my enthusiasm by talking at at least 4 times the volume as she was.  Although I made a point of talking and listening equally, I couldn't help noticing I took up more time and space by sheer volume alone.  I lowered the decibels before Margaret noticed.  Or maybe she did, but was too polite to say anything.  I was also aware that I had to lean forward to hear everything Margaret was saying, not just because I'm a little hard of hearing, but because she's soft-spoken.  As I leaned into her words it occurred to me that her hushed tones were more powerful than my rambunctious ramblings.  Now that's true power.  To quote Starhawk, a major magical influence in my life, it's power from within, rather than power over. 
Margaret's ability to fully engage me in her subdued tones reminded me of something I'd heard in an interview with the Great Goddess of Acting, Meryl Streep, as she spoke about her performance in The Devil Wears Prada.  She chose to voice the role of a bitchy fashion editor very quietly, because she'd observed that the most powerful people she'd worked with  - mostly men, heavy sigh - never raised their voices.  That was a profound revelation for me, but it obviously didn't stick.  Maybe now it will.
And whilst we're on the subject of great actors and voices, I recently saw another interview with Daniel Day-Lewis about his role as Lincoln in the film of the same name.  He spoke at length about his choice of voice for the legendary president, observing that "the voice is such a deep, personal reflection of character."  As an actress I've known this for a very long time, and in light of my recent epiphany regarding my own voice, I felt as if I'd had personal vocal coaching and life lessons from the great actor himself.

A while ago I  was complaining to another soft-spoken friend of mine, Gael, about  mousy, timid people who speak so quietly and inaudibly that I want to slap them.  She remarked that "maybe they don't want to be heard."  Ding!  Gael struck another chord.  Her astute comment helped me to finally understand what Meryl and Daniel were talking about.
I've strung it all together and figured out that I can't make other people listen to me by being loud and obnoxious.  That only turns them off.  I'm still talking less and listening more, and sure, that's a good thing, but I must learn to listen to myself as much as I do to other people.  Paying attention to how I speak is as important as what I say.  It's all about intention, and delivery.  So I'll just pretend there's a movie camera following me around wherever I go.  It'll keep me on my toes.  Reality t.v. - here I come.
- G. P.